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I think community service, as we think of it now, is self-serving. Hear me out.

So many of us are accustomed to thinking of community service as an interaction between the "Haves" and the "Have Nots".

Compare these two situations:

The Joneses - A family with a home, food on the table, and a car in the driveway taking the time out of their day to make sandwiches together. The children are woken up early in the morning by the soft, caring voice of one of their parents and fed a breakfast of waffles, fruit, and scrambled eggs. Their tummies full, they're sent to wash their faces, brush their teeth, and get dressed in their newly bought Gap Kids clothing. The parents discuss small family issues like little Timmy not doing well in Math class and ponder whether it would be beneficial to hire a private tutor-- one of the local high school students perhaps. Little Sarah has had problems fitting in at school. Maybe a little mother-daughter play date with another nice girl in class and her mom would help that. Mom and Dad get their shoes on as the children re-emerge from their rooms, then all four head outside-- each parent taking one child into his or her car because Dad has to get to work afterwards. And off they go on their way to church to make some ham and cheese sandwiches for some unfortunate families.

Meanwhile, the Lees are preparing for the day on the first floor of their two-family home. Dad prepares some toast and eggs for the kids-- the rise in the price of bacon means the children will have to make due. Awakened with the same love as The Joneses, the Lee youngsters start washing up after breakfast. As big brother, Logan, goes to check on his siblings to help get them ready for school, Mom and Dad whisper to each other about new plans they've set up for their family. Mom would take on a third job and have that go towards the kids' schooling, while Dad would spend some more quality time with them by taking them out to the park and free museums-- just so they could get out and see more of the world. Mom and Dad refuse to rob their kids of big dreams. Maybe he could bring Billy. The new family in the unit upstairs has a young son that is cooped up all the time after school playing video games in his room alone-- they couldn't afford after school activities for him. Maybe Dad could take him along on the free trips to the museum and the park? Satisfied with their plans and the kids all dressed, they all pile into the family car and drop mom off first at work, then the kids at school, and finally dad at his job.

Which family is more devoted to giving to others? Which family is really engaging in community service?

Annually, my school, George Washington University, holds a Martin Luther King Jr. Day of Service in which students are given the opportunity to give back en masse to different causes in the local community. It is so much fun to be able to take part in…  especially when you get to arrange to do things with your friends. But, during my freshman year-- I'll never forget this-- one of the keynote speakers shared something that stayed with me:

The common misconception centered around community service is that those who are giving-- the Haves-- are better off and more fortunate than those that are receiving-- the Have Nots. I don't agree with that. Not one bit. This belief only promotes the idea that some are better than others; that there is something innately wrong with those that find themselves in difficult predicaments or that there is something to pity about them. It is that line of thinking that creates subconscious divides between us as a people. My queen and auntie-in-spirit, Michelle Obama, shared a similar view in her wildly successful memoir, "Becoming,"

As my mother, the plainspoken enemy of all hyperbole, still says anytime someone starts to gushing about me and Craig and our various accomplishments, 'They're not special at all. The South Side is filled with kids like that.' We just needed to help get them into those rooms.

For those of you who have not had the opportunity to read Mrs. Obama's fantabulous book, Sheldon, one of Mary Jane's love interests in season 2, episode 4 of the BET show, Being Mary Jane, echoed the former first lady's perspective:

“Success in isolation fosters the lie of 'I'm special.”

Not everyone that doesn't get to have a full breakfast spread every morning, two cars, and a $250,000+ house is poor, less than, or without. The only thing that they have over others is access to certain opportunities and (in some cases) support.

As Jerry Z. Muller, one of the many scholars my International Affairs professors require my classmates and I to read, put it, "It is not what is, it is what people believe is that has behavioral consequences." If people believe that there are some of them who are without because of their own misgivings, laziness, or pure misfortune, then they will, through their behavior, perceive and, thus, treat those people in a particular way.

"Well I think making sandwiches for and giving clothing to the homeless is a kind gesture!" You're right! It is! If it were winter and I didn’t have a winter coat, I would be grateful to be given one without the expectation of reciprocation. But to think that sandwiches and clothing are more helpful than mentorship and giving for the plain sake of giving is… offensive. Posting "#communityservice" and "#selfless" on social media with a pic of yourself at a soup kitchen is not community service. In fact, it can even be regarded as bragging and doesn't help anybody. Think about it. The soup kitchen is serviced every day. Why would you feel special for stopping in and handing out a few spoonfuls of stuffing on the breadline before returning home to your own sumptuous family meal? This especially rings true if you use it as a photo op or find yourself feeling the need to "casually" mention it to your friends or on social media to get a pat on the back from "Haves".

So, here's my proposal. In the amount of time it takes to spring clean your home and bag all the clothes no one wears any more or drive to your local church and serve food to the hungry, sign up to become a mentor. Inspire young minds by expanding them and showing them what's out there for them. Give them access. Give their minds access by showing them that yes, they can sign up to go to free resume building events, apply to scholarships to study abroad, or join that free art-making class (maybe they have an undiscovered talent?). Give them access by driving them to these events. Give their hearts access by bringing them to church with you or inviting them into your home to supplement the love and support they might possibly not receive in their own homes.

"I don't have time for that Alexa. I'm just too busy at work." That may very well be. Maybe making sandwiches for an hour or sending clothing to Big Brothers Big Sisters is easier. But it's only easier for you because it's straight to the point and costs less in terms of how much of yourself you have to give. Those things only cost time. Mentoring and inspiring others demands a certain amount of emotional giving that isn't for a lot of people. I challenge you to do it on a smaller scale then. Maybe you can’t become an official mentor, but you can put aside three hours a week to tutor or talk to some elementary, middle, or high school kids about your journey. Share what it took for you to get to where you are now. You don't have to be a wildly successful millionaire or public figure to have an interesting story. There are several people in my life who I look up to that lead seemingly regular lives, but the devotion they have to their families and the obvious love they have for others inspires me greatly. 

You don't have to be a wildly successful millionaire or public figure to have an interesting story.

Just have a conversation with someone and see the world of good it does them. You never know how your words, actions, and genuine interest in people other than yourself can impact them.

What if you're a kid or a young adult like me? How can you give back? Spending time with your siblings without annoying them or perceiving everything they do as bothersome is a good first step. Sit down with your brothers or sisters (no matter if they are older or younger) and ask them how they are really doing. Tell them that they can talk to you about everything. Make your relationship with them a safe place that mom and dad aren't privy too--unless, of course, circumstances call for it. Giving back in this way doesn't require a driver's license and doesn’t impede on your summer job. All it takes is a listening ear.

In a world dominated by social media, another way for you to give back is by sharing positive vibes. You're beautiful and if you want to post selfies and the like, that's your right. I don't mind a selfie here and there myself. But use your 500+ following to spread beauty in all of its forms. Don't be hesitant to share photos of your friends along with encouraging comments about the accomplishments they've recently made. Dare to be vulnerable by sharing hardships you've had (and are ready to talk about) and how you've overcome them (or are in the process of doing so). I guarantee you're not the only one that went through that. There is a profound sentiment of solidarity in knowing that one is not alone in combating the darkness that dares to stomp out their light. Battle it together, with your following, friends, and family by allowing them in. There's no better feeling than being supported, but how can people support one another if no one knows what's going on? Share it using your own voice (when you're ready) and see the flood of people that run to tell you that they too have been suffering in silence. 

Dare to be vulnerable.

At the end of the day, people are watching all the time, especially kids, give them something beautiful, kind, and inspiring to look at and learn from so that they can see that it is possible to emulate those things in their own lives. Become one of the many stars in the constellation that makes up their support system.